Truth Minute: Adam’s Apple (Wisdom for Men in a Hypersexualized Society)
Another shoe drops, another allegation surfaces. Some men are in fear of being exposed others are in fear of being trapped by seducing spirits. Some are thinking of their mothers, sisters and daughters and would never do such a thing…others are looking to harass one of them if given the opportunity by deception or force. So what should a married man of faith do? ( I narrowed the scope of the audience purposely because of the high number of men who lead congregations/ministries as married men but single men can read too).
Well, for many of us who come from cultures “in the club” that have at one time seen, participated in or witnessed the grabbing of an arm or _______ (you fill in the blank) you need to realize that God was right all along in how we should love one another and to flee sexual immorality. I realize this list is one sided with placing the man in direct responsibility for his own actions. I also realize that there is seduction that takes place from the opposite sex (See Delilah), BUT if you can’t take the heat/burning, just get married to who can satisfy you OR follow the below as a suggestion. Most of them are common sense especially for men who are in positions of influence. However, things happen due to human (sin)nature, so to not ruin your reputation after years of doing right, consider the following from a late great preacher who had impeccable character. This man’s guidelines was introduced to me by my mentor.
C. Peter Wagner’s Purity Practice for Married Male Pastors: (I edited it to be more clear for today’s World)
1. Do not Use Cologne in church (Remember you belong to your wife use it on a date night for her)
2. Do not give “long” hugs to women (Yes, the side church hug or the firm Father hug please! ladies have emotional radars and can pick up your vibe easily)
3. Do not be in an office alone with a woman (glass doors or windows if the meeting is needed someone should be able to hear the conversation)
4. Do not make pastoral visits alone (Red flag)
5. No flirting or subliminal compliments on appearance
6. Keep your conversations at 20 Seconds or less for females outside of your family unless a witness is present.
7. No fantasies of women in congregation (mental adultery)
8. Put those cameras in the church for security on behalf of everyone.
Once again many of us know that there are no angels on either side of this issue, especially in a society that condones sexual immorality under the guise of “consent” and power. Nevertheless, you as a man must understand your environment and that temptation is everywhere. Social media along with the internet has amplified sexual sinfulness to levels not previously seen. It’s not easy, even for me…and I don’t have all the answers for every scenario BUT i can say that if you do have an issue with lust and that is your “thorn in the flesh” accountability and transparency are keys to success. Keep stuff out in the open and surround yourself with men who are faithful and will encourage you to do so. Invest in the security cameras, keep doors open or with windows in your church so that if an allegation that is not true comes to the surface you have proof and a witness to vouch for your character. This does not guarantee that you won’t get “tried or tempted” as sometimes your faithfulness is very attractive to the opposite sex. But remember your vows to your wife, your children and your legacy. Imagine what you could lose as a result also imagine hearing the positive words from your offspring in the future (My daddy was faithful to my mom and he loved her).
Be Blessed!
